the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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