oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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