I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong