it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.