she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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