So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
