Kareoke will never be a sober sport
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
