I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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