You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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