wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
