im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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