Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
