she was so not down for the gang bang
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
