we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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