My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize