We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
