I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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