So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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