I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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