2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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