My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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