his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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