what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
