True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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