Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
