Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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