Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
