my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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