I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
