I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
