For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
