Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
