even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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