Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
