I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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