I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize