'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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