don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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