I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
