the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
