My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Everything about him screamed your future.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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