i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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