I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
