Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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