She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
