Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
