OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
there is puke in my bra ... again
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
