remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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