What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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