what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
