Just cropdusted the office
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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