when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
