yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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