thus making me awesome and them whores
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
