yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
