That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
