So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
